You don’t know the half of it.
Not that we ever know the full extent of anything. I’ll blame that on our humanity and our tendency to be so stuck in our own ways that we are totally unmoving in many more ways than one. But I digress…
“I’m just a girl” is a trend that reared its head in the 2020’s and graced our TikTok pages with satire and humour. It came about as a funny and sometimes cute way or excuse for women to avoid accountability. It was a joy to scroll through the myriads of videos created to mock the absurdity of societal expectations of femininity or the sexist way in which women are perceived, that is incapable or lacking. For example: I can’t change the tyre because I’m just a girl.
This starts off straight from girlhood and stretches into womanhood. But haaa…jokes on you women only leave girlhood by age but not in every other way possible and that has to with the infantilisation of femininity (I won’t go deeply into this one, read my blog post on it…I am totally not fishing…I would never…I mean come on, what do you take me for?) *giggles*
Society will only recognise women as adults so that it can urge them to have children, marry and so on. In other words, women are only recognised as women when it benefits them. However, women won’t leave girlhood because women are only respected and loved in their youth. After all, women are only as good as their youth, thus our constant infantilisation even self-infantilisation. Women will still only just be girls what with calling themselves “girls” and men also calling them “girls” despite the fact that if you call men “boys” they would throw a heinous hissy fit.
Anywaaaaaaaaay, I’m just a girl is supposed to be a funny, light-hearted trend that mocks society and its unrealistic standards of women and their actions. No Doubt’s song Just A Girl from 1995 was created to criticise society’s heinous grip on women, including controlling their actions. Simply put, there’s far too much that the world asks of women and some of those requests are well, for a lack of a better term, “absurd.” Society deems women incapable of just about anything aside from servitude and it sees women often needing the assistance of men to execute other tasks. My take is hyperbolic at best but there is a lot of truth to it once you get over my wording. That being said, two things can be true at once.
I’m just a girl videos will be something like this, “I can’t cross the road I’m just a girl.” “I can’t invest, I’m literally just a girl.” “I can’t go to work I’m just a girl.” These are just a few examples of how rocky or weird this trend can be and there’s a lot more where that came from.
The trend has its merits. It is quite funny and it can be entertaining but one wonders if it can be something harmful. I know, I know it’s a mere TikTok trend so why am I blowing it out of proportion? Do I have to turn everything into a feminist think piece? Questions, questions, questions. The verdict: yes, I must address stuff especially when it deprecates women.
So, there are two schools of thought to this “I’m just a girl conundrum”. One side denotes that it’s merely self-deprecating humour that exposes society’s rigidity when it comes to women and their actions. Others just call it a joke. It’s not that “deep” and it’s just the female version of “boys will be boys” it’s a cop out for taking accountability for one’s actions. The trend really exposes underlying societal issues that need a good ripping to shreds… thus, I’ll be handling the ripping.
Normalising infantilisation
It’s officially 2025 and we have long since battled the infantilisation of femininity. However, trends like I’m just a girl inadvertently support the infantilisation of women, aligning with cultural trends that women are incapable, childish, naïve or overly delicate, the list goes on.
Saying “I’m just a girl” oversimplifies identity.
Reducing oneself to “just a girl” flattens the complexities and nuances of one’s identity. One is giving society the go ahead to heap demeaning feminine stereotypes on their person. You know the one that aligns with weakness, naivete and incapability?
Internalised sexism
The trend somehow feeds into internalised sexism. For some people, it may reflect that girls or women are less than or should downplay their capabilities to fit into certain expectations. I’m some people. WEAPONISED INCOMPETENCE. Feigning helplessness or ignorance is NOT CUTE especially for a gender that’s stereotyped as helpless and ignorant.
I’m just a girl vs gender stereotypes
The phrase can reinforce that being a girl inherently means that one is less capable, less intelligent and less strong. Girl has always been associated with weakness or incapability. When we say stuff like “I’m just a girl” we reinforce really harmful and really outdated gender notions or ideals. We should completely and utterly refuse being seen that way.
Then…
One has to ask if people really understand the song “Just a girl.” In that song, Gwen is basically saying that she’s only allowed to follow stereotypes because society won’t let girls do anything else or be anything else outside the mould of what has been associated with femininity. No Doubt made that song about the feminine rage that we feel when society makes us feel incompetent for being young women then TikTok took that and turned it into a trend about being incompetent because you are a young woman and that’s unironically speaking, mind you.
Many people conclude that “I’m just a girl,” is on par with “boys will be boys”. The first is weaponised incompetence in coquette and the other one is a construct that excuses men for their toxic and otherwise harmful behaviour. Some people, specifically one gussycat or @notbyplatain on X formerly known as Twitter has concluded that “I’m just a girl” is a direct response to the culture that raised men to avoid accountability by using “boys will be boys”.
Remember when that little boy at school would smack you around and you would tell someone and they’d say don’t worry, he probably likes you and boys will be boys? I distinctly remember my bully’s parent saying “Sorry Nkosi, boys will be boys” after I had told her that her son was always smacking me and pushing me. I can’t even begin to explain how wrong that is… we really shouldn’t teach that to children. That’s how we breed generations of entitled men and indifferent women. Those are seedlings of toxic masculinity and its encouragement.
Look, I’m no hard-ass. I can see how this trend is playfully poking fun at yourself for your mishaps but it gets to a point, ladies. It honestly gets to a point. I think it’s funny and cute when it’s “I put bows on everything because I’m just a girl.” Not “I can’t do maths, I’m just a girl.” Not “I’m just a girl I don’t know how to change a tyre.” Not “I’m just girl I can’t work.” The trend is cute and girly pop when it is NOT reinforcing misogyny.
It’s like we’re going back to the “you run like a girl” era or the “you punch like a girl” era. Can we not erase years and years of work put in by other women so that we could be taken seriously? Like can we not unravel years and years of work put in place to thwart misogyny. Why should you fight for anti-intellectualism to be connected and linked to womanhood? YUCK.
I have to fight for my life in many spaces to be taken seriously. I’m literally a short woman who fights to make people (men and WOMEN) understand why it’s so important to keep the feminism conversation going or to keep the Congo genocide on the tip of people’s tongue. I’m a woman still yelling at men in combis not to touch my hair or to touch me to get my attention. I’m a woman trying to get people to listen to what I say not look at my rack. I’m not the biggest fan of “I’m just a girl” unless its context is hilarious and harmless or when it has sharp teeth or a duct of venom.
“I’m just a girl so I can’t—” Oh no, no, no sweetheart you’re just an incompetent HUMAN BEING.
Leave your gender out of it because it affects other women.
“Boys will be bo—” Oh no, no, no sweetheart you’re just a PERSON WHO CAN’T TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR YOUR HEINOUS ACTIONS.
Leave your gender out of it because it’s not a cop out for your awful actions.
Remember the iconic Elle Woods? Legally Blonde taught us that women can be both or everything all at once. Being intelligent and liking traditionally beautiful things doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. So why are we making a mockery of ourselves and going backwards? Eww.
I’m just a girl so I wrote this think piece.
— The “Weird” Brown Girl.
SOURCES:
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/im-just-a-girl
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