So, we’re all screwed.

Coming to the gross realisation about how look obsessed we all are was very sobering. It all started to make sense really, pretty people had a cheat code to life: their good genes! I didn’t want it to be true. I was in denial. I didn’t think human beings cared about each other at all to be concerned about how they all look and what not.

Pretty privilege is an unearned and mostly unacknowledged societal advantage that a person has by fitting into the beauty standards of their culture. It operates on the principle that people who are more conventionally attractive based on societal beauty standards have more advantages and opportunities compared to people who are deemed less attractive.

It’s probably difficult to bring up pretty privilege considering the fact that it does sound like a shallow topic. It’s either you’ve been a receiver, a viewer or even an active participant in this principle but the crux of the matter is that we’ve all been affected by it in one way or the other.

The tale of why human beings are look obsessed & the privileges of pretty people.

I’ll keep it short and not so sweet: human-beings suck. They suck a lot.

I’m sure there’s a point in time where you approached someone to make friends with them because they were pretty.

I’m sure you’ve clicked on a youtuber’s video because he or she is gorgeous.

Let’s face it, the social media pages that usually have a lot of engagement are inundated by gorgeous women and men.

A cast for a movie usually has attractive people.

Your TikTok feed is usually littered with beautiful people.

I’m sure a man has told you he first approached you because he thought you hac a great personality. Umm, that’s a lie. That man was lying through his teeth. None of you know each other or have ever seen each other in your entire lives for that matter. That being said, how could he possibly claim that you have a great personality? The truth is that he saw you from across the street and thought you were gorgeous. That’s why he approached you.

Many women have come out and explained pretty privilege. After all it’s no secret that a woman’s conceived social capital is her beauty and her youth. If you search pretty privilege, you’ll find a myriad of videos delving into this topic. Women will express that they get free drinks from bartenders. The women I have spoken to, claim that they often receive free rides to their destinations solely because of their beauty.

But why are we like this? Why are we so ugh and so look-obsessed?  One reason that we like attractive people is because they are rewarding. We like being around attractive people because they are enjoyable to look at and because being with them makes us feel good about ourselves. Attractiveness can imply high status, and we naturally like being around people who have it. Furthermore, the positive features of attractive people tend to “rub off” on those around them as a result of associational learning (Sigall & Landy, 1973).  There are many, many, many more reasons why we are like this.

The Halo Effect & The Horn Effect.

I talk and write a lot, so I’m sure I’ve touched on the topic of the halo effect. But what the heck? I’ll just dissect it again because, well, I can and it’s relevant to this topic. So please don’t judge me, Stephanie! Right-o! So, the halo effect is a very icky social construct that is described by Verywellmind.com as a type of cognitive bias in which our overall impression of a person influences how we feel and think about their character. Essentially, your overall impression of a person (“He is nice!”) impacts your evaluations of that person’s specific traits (“He is also smart!”)

According to Cheryl Whitten, the halo effect is a preconceived opinion you form about other people and things. It is not based on an objective analysis, and you form it for no real reason except what you happen to notice. Basically, you’re a silly billy who uses subjective analyses to make conclusions about people you know absolutely nothing about.

The halo effect is usually within the throngs of everything else that has to do pretty-privilege. The pair are as inseparable as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When we deem an individual attractive, we associate great qualities with them. Our immediate thought is that since they are pretty, they are also smart, friendly and funny. In this case, one subconsciously gives or awards a person a halo solely because you deem them attractive and therefore, they can never do any substantial wrong and a slew of more human folly I’m too exhausted to dish out. I kid, I kid, of course I can list them but I would have to write a novel.

So, the halo effect encompasses most of our daily lives. You could be seated in a lecture and the person next to you will tell you they went to a private high-school. You’ll immediately draw inferences and think that person is more qualified than you when that might not be true. The halo effect comes into play when we purchase, say a fruit juice and we think it’s healthy but it has an insane content of sugars and calories.

Psychologist Edward Thorndike first coined the halo effect in 1920. In a study called “A Constant Error in Psychological Ratings,” he asked military officers to rank soldiers. He thought that in a fair approach, they would consider each trait by itself, but that’s not what happened. Of course not.

Thorndike found that the officers gave soldiers higher rankings based on first impressions of their appearance. If the officers noticed a trait, they would jump to conclusions, and the final assessment would match the initial impression. 

When you notice a negative trait then you associate negative traits and impressions with that person, then it’s called the horn effect. So, you’re basically stereotyping you silly little human-being. Mind-boggling, isn’t it?

So where does the halo effect and the horn effect come in with pretty privilege or lack thereof? Well, it’s simple. If you’re attractive you’re associated with positive qualities. You could be a serial killer and people would still make excuses for you simply because you’re good-looking. They could say stuff like, “oh, he’s just damaged.” “She had a really rough background that’s why she sawed her classmate in half.” Like no, you bloody banana, they aren’t serial killers because mummy didn’t give them a kiss goodnight, they are serial killers because they chose to be. It doesn’t matter if they look like Keith Powers or Henry Cavil so rest.

When I didn’t have pretty privilege

It all started when my chest enlarged and my face became something to marvel about. Was I pleased by all the affection I was receiving? Well, yes. As the girl who had always been dubbed an anomaly, it was refreshing to be finally dubbed beautiful and interesting. It was wonderful to have a new identity. It was wonderful to be surrounded by people and to be invited to places. However, it’s sobering to have started off as the infamously proverbial ugly duckling. There are no two ways about it really, in our superficial world it’s either you’re hot or you’re not. If you’re hot, you have everyone’s heart or disdain, if you’re ugly you have everyone’s pity or they don’t particularly care about your existence.

There are people who are beautiful the moment they come out of the womb. Then there is the demographic of individuals who are molly-rocked into inhumane beauty by puberty. I am under the impression that people who grow into their looks have experienced both extremes of pretty privilege. That is, they have been treated awfully when they didn’t meet societal beauty standards or weren’t particularly attractive and now, they are being treated favourably.

When I was young, I was short, weird and awkward. I mean I am still all of those things (but that doesn’t matter at present moment). The point is, I wasn’t the cutest kid according to society, I suppose. I kept to myself and made magazines with Barbie and Monster High characters. I sat in little corners, spoke to myself and pretended that I was a student at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I admit, I was an odd little thing, running around screaming “off with their heads” to anyone who paid me the slightest attention.

I wasn’t the only one with interests that weren’t so common at the time. This isn’t to say I’m resting on the “I’m not like other girls” trope. Everyone was talking about Empire and the new songs always featured on the music channel Trace Urban. I wasn’t allowed on any of those channels so the best I could talk about was Flapjack or Chowder. Needless to say, I had no one to talk to about my interests. The few people I could talk to would entertain me until they were called over by the prettiest girls in our class. We had very pretty girls in our grade 7 class. There was a whole ranking list. I appeared in the top 20 as number 20 whenever I was lucky enough to look cute on civvies day. I think.

High-school was more or less the same. I was still deemed strange but the chest had come in and the hips had widened. I started receiving smiles and sometimes even declarations of love. Mind you, I wasn’t drop dead gorgeous but I was cute enough I suppose and that made it much easier for me to make some friends. I had been given a thin line to hold onto for survival but it was a line nonetheless. Anything was better than primary school that was for sure.

Needless to say, people treated me way better than they did when I wasn’t “good-looking”. (Which is super weird because we were only 12 years old and we shouldn’t have been hell bent on being pretty).

I had a very pretty friend in O’Level. We will call her Linda. She was truly a sight for sore eyes. She was tall, had a very pretty face and your envied hourglass body. Linda was also soft-spoken and very smart. Every guy in school had a thing for her to the point that all of us, her friends, were occasionally duffed. I hope you’ve all watched the movie called “The Duff”. The duff basically stands for the designated ugly fat friend. That means that you’re usually the less attractive friend in your friend group. Boys interested in your friend will come to you seeking advice on how to “get with” your friend. (I know, it’s a pretty gross statement).

My friends and I were rotationally duffed at least once a week by the boys who wanted to date Linda. It was as though we were taking turns on a shift. Boys would offer me chocolates or pretend to be interested in the novel I happened to be reading at the time in order to butter me up and ask me for advice on how to ask Linda out. It was irritating but we eventually got used to it.

Anyway, Linda enamoured everyone. Even me. She reminded me of Malena from the movie Malena. Boys and girls alike looked at her the way Malena was stared at every time she walked down a street. I watched her receive gifts and favours galore. I often saw and heard people laugh at everything she said. Everything she wore was deemed amazing or revolutionary. I realised then that being attractive afforded you all sorts of perks. Linda was living every teenage girl’s dream because as that cliché line from most cringey wattpad novel goes, “every girl wanted to be her and every boy wanted to be with her.”

Linda would fall and boys would dash to help her to her feet. Linda would answer a question and everyone would be paying full attention. In fact, the first day she walked into class in 2016 many boys whistled and went “whoa”. I mean, I didn’t blame them.

I had another friend. Let’s call her Amy. Amy was brilliant at everything she did. She was smart and funny but she didn’t meet any of the societal beauty standards. She was geeky, wore oversized glasses and always had stuff stuck in her teeth. She would say the same stuff as Linda but boys would roll their eyes or even gag. Sometimes they even laughed at her for just existing. When she was assigned as someone’s partner in class (usually a boy’s) the boy in question would throw a massive tantrum, going on and on about how he wasn’t at all looking forward to be sitting with Amy.

Amy was just as funny and as intelligent as Linda. So, what was the problem? Why didn’t anyone want to be around Amy? Why didn’t anyone rush to Amy’s aid like they always did for Linda? Why didn’t anyone ever find Amy’s opinions valuable? Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s the answer, Amy wasn’t conventionally attractive. She didn’t meet any of the Zimbabwean beauty standards and that’s why she wasn’t treated like a decent human being. She was bullied and looked down on because she didn’t have any pretty privilege.

Amy wasn’t the only unfortunate person. There were other girls that were treated like Amy, but I would say Amy’s case was more extreme. Linda and Amy’s stories were indicative of how concrete pretty privilege was in our society. Looks are what matter, especially if you’re a female. Beauty is the social capital needed for survival in this tumultuous journey we call life. Beauty is the cheat code to life and all the benefits that one can gain from it. Beauty is the key to being treated like a decent human being, I guess.

I went from ugly duckling to beautiful swan when I was now in A’level. Not only had my looks come in, but I started tending to my appearance. I would put on some lip-gloss, make sure I had mascara on my lashes and even developed a cool sense of personal style. Life became easier when I became pretty. It became easier to make friends. People actually wanted my company. How crazy was that? I was getting invited to birthday parties and sleepovers. All this attention and adoration was a first for me but I enjoyed it. Starting off as an “unattractive” person showed me how cruel people could be if you weren’t attractive. It truly hurt and it was extremely debilitating. That’s when I realised that people only care if you’re pretty or you’re dying.

In Harare, I often get men offering to pay for my groceries when I go shopping. I usually ask why because I’m shocked and they tell me it’s because I am pretty. I’ve boarded private cars when I head into town and when I hand out my dollar to pay for my transport fare most men usually refuse it, claiming that the ride is free. The nuances of pretty privilege are subtle but ever-present.

Dehumanisation of “unattractive” people:

People deemed unattractive by society are subjected to so much abuse and ill-treatment. They are disrespected and usually treated horribly. It’s either that or they are ignored. I’ve witnessed and experienced both of these unfortunate instances so I know how dark it can be and how lonely it is when you don’t look how society says you ought to look. There are many statistics that prove that pretty people are more likely to be hired, to make friends and to get a relationship. They basically have a key to most of life’s hurdles.

I’ve seen people being bullied for being “unattractive” so many times it’s actually awful. Women have been threatened with violence for speaking up if they are deemed unattractive but their attractive counterparts are congratulated for being feisty and confident if they do the same. I’ve seen and heard teenagers laughing in corners claiming they won’t invite Chipo or Luba to their birthday party because they aren’t pretty. I’ve seen babies get laughed at because they aren’t “cute enough”. I’ve seen women get shoved out of commuter omnibuses for standing up for themselves after being insulted for how “unattractive” they are. I could go on and on about what I have seen and what I have experienced but I would have to write a very long and depressing novel.

The dark side of pretty privilege:

I know you’re probably thinking that this subtitle is utter bollocks. I mean really, how could being beautiful ever be disadvantageous? I’ll have you know, dear reader, that there is in fact a downside to being beautiful. There are many cases where this privilege turns into harassment.

A beautiful person is rarely seen as an actual person. Isn’t it ironic that having pretty privilege humanises you since you’re usually treated kindly by everyone around you but the downside is that it also dehumanises you according to whoever it is applying their bias on you? People make everything about you just about your beauty. You’re not a whole person. You don’t have thoughts of your own. You don’t have a personality. You aren’t nuanced or enigmatic. You’re not a person, you’re just the embodiment of beauty. You’re just your pretty face and nice body.

People who suffer from pretty privilege are never associated with intelligence. Because how dare she be hot and smart at the same time? GAAAASP! Well, I never…the horrrooor. Think of Elle Woods from the infamous movie Legally Blonde. Everyone always underestimated her because she was nothing more than what they deemed a pretty face. She had a beautiful face, a great body and those aspects of herself got her a very attractive boyfriend. Everyone was so shocked when she was accepted into Harvard Law School and her iconic line was “What, like it’s hard?”  The point of that movie was to show the world that women could be both pretty and smart. The movie showed us that the two elements of beauty and intelligence aren’t mutually exclusive. People didn’t believe Elle was capable of being intelligent because she liked dressing up, she was feminine and liked looking pretty. But she proved that you can be both drop dead gorgeous and crazy smart. She proved that just because one is stunning, it doesn’t mean they are airheads.

People who suffer from pretty privilege are usually preyed on. The prettier you are the more men treat you like conquests. Men usually prey on you to prove to other men that they are masculine or whatever. Men usually say crude things about your looks. One of my drop-dead gorgeous friends was traversing the streets of Harare and a man told her that she was pretty and that her body was sculpted for sex. Of course, he said this in Shona. She was mortified, I was mortified. We all were. She is constantly harassed the moment she steps out of the house.

Pretty women aren’t taken seriously for job interviews or just about anything that requires the workplace what with bosses or other employee seniors who usually end up asking for sexual favours. They threaten the women with their livelihoods or they threaten to rescind their benefits or withhold that promotion that they’ve been hanging over the women’s heads.

I’ve been seeking mentors for the longest time. Being a law student is akin to drowning in the Bermuda Triangle whilst fighting freaking Saitama or Goku and simultaneously battling asthma so it’s vital law students have mentors to help them stay alive, literally. I’ve connected with amazing lawyers and diplomats with great accolades. I look up to them until they send a sleazy message about how they think I’m cute and that they would help me if I could just let them cop a feel of my breasts. Some have blatantly asked me for sex, knowing full well that I sought their assistance in procedural law and nothing more. No matter how much I try to open my mouth, maybe to explain my interests in law or anything to do with life, a man will say I’m pretty and we shouldn’t be discussing life stuff. Meanwhile I would have worn my best black and white outfit, fished out a few bucks from my measly student budget to ferry myself to the café for our meeting. I would have packed my favourite notebook, one with all the stickers and glitter. I would have scoured the internet for questions to ask pertaining all my interests in diplomacy or law or other life after graduation stuff and then all I get for my efforts at being serious in life is: do you mind if we take this to my place?  OF COURSE I MIND, STEVE! JUST TEACH ME ABOUT BLOODY MENS REA, DAMN!

I just sigh in disappoint, grab my stuff and head home. Up to date, I struggle to find mentors who want to work with me without the sex part. I’ve also observed instances where beautiful girls are harassed when I jump into a commuter omnibus to go home. These girls are usually in uniform by the way but the conductor and the commuter omnibus driver usually usher her to the front seat and say very lewd and vile things to her. We used to have this spot in Bulawayo called Godini. It basically means the hole. That’s where most people boarded their public transport to just about anywhere in the city. That area was perhaps the best area that highlighted how dark pretty privilege could be. Pretty girls were sometimes grabbed or cat-called or should I say they were subjected to vocal obscenities being screamed at them multiple times. It was truly something awful to observe.

There’s this manhwa called Lookism and it focuses a lot on how look-obsessed society is and that pretty privilege exists. It is one of my favourite manhwa till this day. Anywaaay, besides most of the chapters resonating with me, there’s one chapter in particular that made me realise that beauty is indeed a double-edged sword. There was a character who was deathly poor. She worked at a restaurant and most of her clothes were evidently old and worn out. She was also extremely gorgeous. Every man who frequented the restaurant could tell she was poor because of her clothes. They would leer at her, spout very lewd things and touch her whenever they got the chance. It was very dehumanising and it was a very difficult pill to swallow but that’s what it was. That was her reality and many other women’s reality. There was a particular point raised that noted that she was always in danger because not only was she poor, but she was also pretty.

Pretty people tend to be the subject of hatred and envy. They are either adored and deemed charming or they are despised beyond imagination. There are no two ways about it. People will always assume that you achieved your position or status in life because you’re pretty when that could be because of sheer hard work and determination.

Beautiful people can be spoon-fed and rewarded for having a great exterior. But what happens when that beauty fades? What happens when the beautiful people age? It’s prevalent with movie stars who always overcompensate and try to stay relevant in a society hell-bent on casting them away because they just aren’t as good looking as they were when they were in the prime of their youth. When beauty fades, you’ll have to enrapture people with talent and skill. What happens when you don’t have anything to offer besides your looks? Well, life’s vicious cycle will chuck you in the bin.

 If your pretty or handsome face and model worthy body is all you have, all you will do is mourn your past. I’d wager that that is why we have an onslaught of actors and actresses getting surgery to look younger again. All of those costly efforts are done to recover that privilege they garnered for being pretty. Kristin Donnelly says, “If you’ve gone your whole life with this reward structure, that you’re constantly told you’re attractive and so much of your self-worth is tied into your appearance, that can be a dangerous thing,”. Question becomes, who are you without your good looks?

How do we combat the dark side of pretty privilege & the horn effect?

I’ll be straight with you, dear reader, you can’t do undo society’s deep-rooted fixation on good looks. I don’t think pretty privilege will ever undo itself from society. However, we can destroy it sub-consciously one step at a time. We have to understand that looks are nothing more than an exterior or a façade. We need to teach ourselves and others that just because someone is good-looking, it doesn’t mean they are a good person nor does it mean they are a bad person. We need to send our biases to the deepest darkest depths of hell. We can’t control what other people think of us, but we can control how we respond and react to others.

I’m rooting for you.

• The “Weird” Brown Girl.

sources:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/gvezeq/the-agony-and-the-ecstasy-of-being-incredibly-hot

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-halo-effect

7.1 Initial Attraction

Pretty privilege is real