via GIPHY

I don’t understand why people are ashamed of menstruation…even just talking about it is unfathomable.

There, I said it, point, blank, period. (Haha, see what I did there?)

I know that society has always had an aversion for periods. I clocked the shame that comes with menstruation a long time ago. The shame has always been there. Periods are ugly. Periods are something to be hidden. Periods are unclean. Periods are something to be ashamed of. At least that’s what the world showed me and told me. Till this day I don’t understand WHY.

Thursday, like most days of the week was hellish. Why? Well, the heat was unbearable and society threw tantrums at me that I felt the need to address. I mean, I wouldn’t have a platform dedicated to addressing societal constructs if society wasn’t in the habit of throwing unbearable tantrums. Then again, it would ensure that women were at least safe and what not. But as usual, I digress.

So, I’m sure you did biology or at the very least, combined science where you learnt about the shedding of the uterus lining? Right? Right? Any takers? If you don’t well, I’ll let you know with the help of Medline. GAAAAASP. Yes, I know, I know…I’m doing Aunty Merriam Webster very dirty. I think this constitutes as betraying Aunty Merriam Webster but she’ll feature next post. Not to worry. So, our guest on this blog post is trusty old Medline and she says that:

Menstruation, or period, is normal vaginal bleeding that occurs as part of a woman’s monthly cycle. Every month, your body prepares for pregnancy. If no pregnancy occurs, the uterus, or womb, sheds its lining. The menstrual blood is partly blood and partly tissue from inside the uterus. It passes out of the body through the vagina.

Periods usually start between age 11 and 14 and continue until menopause at about age 51. They usually last from three to five days. Besides bleeding from the vagina, you may have:

• Abdominal or pelvic cramping pain
• Lower back pain
• Bloating and sore breasts
• Food cravings
• Mood swings and irritability
• Headache and fatigue

Premenstrual syndrome, or PMS, is a group of symptoms that start before the period. It can include emotional and physical symptoms.

Now that Medline has educated you, I’ll take over from here. So where were we? Ah, yes…the blood stuff. My classes, although hectic and off to an extremely early start, were engaging and I actually enjoyed them. They were worth the trek in my Doc Martens and all black outfit that added to my suffering in this unnecessary heat. I was more than happy until I felt this sharp pain in my stomach while I was trying to figure out a question paper with a few of my colleagues.

I groaned when the pain didn’t dissipate. Was it what I thought it was? No! It couldn’t be because my FLO had told me so. I trusted FLO. She has a tendency of being right or almost right, that is. I guess Thursday was one of those instances when she was almost right. FLO had told me that I would be visited by the “red lady” the following week. I was safe to enjoy a weekend of unbearable studying and unsatisfying bed rotting for the weekend. Right? RIGHT? Well, I was wrong. The weekend would be a painful two days of bed-rotting except with excruciating cramps and eating as much food as my grubby little hands could shove in my mouth. I rose from my seat carefully and sprinted to the bathroom, all the while hoping and wishing that the “red lady” hadn’t visited. Well guess what, that unwelcome female dog visited alright. She was so loud and so proud about her visit. She was also super aggressive, showing me that her unpleasant visit would be unbearable because she had come with some weight.

I stood in front of the mirror in my faculty bathroom whining and twitching uncontrollably because why not? I regained my composure when a student walked past eyeing me up and down as if I had lost my mind. Well, I lost my mind a long time ago…in fact, I don’t think I have ever had it up there in my noggin but that’s beside the point.

The point is, the red lady was visiting for five days and I had to accommodate her mentally and physically. I only had one problem, I hadn’t packed a menstrual pad or tampon. UGHHHH! Gosh, I know! I am so embarrassing! How did I just leave my care package at home? What if another girl had asked me for one and I couldn’t assist…THE HORROR! Goodness me, I would have failed as a woman.

Fortunately, I had only failed myself and in my opinion, that’s better than letting another woman in need down. I know I lost some of my impeccable aura but at least I didn’t lose all of it. I hightailed my arse back to my lecture theatre in desperate need for a pad. One of our colleagues, one belonging to the male species was propped against my female desk-mate’s desk. Feeling shy about discussing the matters of shedding uterus lining, I bent over and asked my desk-mate with a whisper, “Do you have a pad by any chance? I’m sorry, I’m ashamed for even asking.”

She scrunched her eyebrows at me and scoffed before replying, “Sorry, I don’t have a pad. But why would you be ashamed of asking for a pad? That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Her sentence wasn’t at all colourful or extraordinary but the effects it had on me were indeed colourful and extraordinary. It was like I had taken a cold shower on a hot day or eaten noodles on a rainy day while Black Clover played on my laptop. It was as though she had broken my chains.

I rose to my full height and thanked her. I didn’t mind that we were beside a male colleague. So, I asked my desk-mate loudly and proudly, “Hey, do you know where I can get a pad then?”

Our male colleague flinched, taken aback by my question. He shook off the initial shock and carried on typing away at his phone. My desk-mate was right! Why was I ashamed about periods? Why was I ashamed about talking about them publicly? It was a natural process that most girls and women went through so why did I feel the need to treat it like a secret to be tucked away and hidden forever?

That’s when I realised that I had a problem and because I have said problem, I’m pretty sure society had a hand in my shame.

Period shame and period taboo is when we point fingers and giggle when someone stains their pants with blood.

Period shame is when we have to hide our pads when going to change our used pads in the bathroom.

Period shame is when we’re afraid to tell brothers, uncles and dads who might be in town to buy us a packet of pads.

Period shame is when we call it “the red lady” or “that time of the month” or “lady red” instead of calling it what it actually is; PERIODS or MENSTRUATION. It’s just blood, bro.

Period shame or taboo is when boys and men call us disgusting or filthy for menstruating.

Period shame or taboo is when girls and women call themselves and each other disgusting and filthy for menstruating.

Why is menstruation so uncomfortable to talk about?

Menstruation stigma exists.

Surprise, surprise.

Since when do stigmas associated with anything linked to women not exist?

1). Cultural taboos & traditional beliefs

I love culture as much as the next person. However, I don’t love it when certain cultural aspects are harmful and considered part of culture like child marriages and dare I say polygamy? Menstruation in Zimbabwe, like many other countries in the world is seen as something unclean or taboo. Historically girls or women on their periods are considered impure or unclean leading to a myriad of restrictions on their activities. For example, some women aren’t allowed to cook, participate in religious activities or even clean when menstruating. These mandates or stipulations reinforce the idea that menstruation is something shameful, creating a culture of silence around it.

2). Lack of education & awareness

Education on menstruation is greatly lacking in Zimbabwe. If anything, I learnt about it once in high school and that was the end of it. Wearing pads, learning what kind of pads there are or pad alternatives is something we had to figure out on our own or with help of our mums or aunts who also had to learn that information from whatever matriarch they were lucky to have. Boys and men were also never really taught about menstruation, just what it is and how it happens. I know science shouldn’t have to focus on cultural sensitivities over any part of the body but by gosh it would be nicer if it did…especially for menstruation. The education on menstruation if any is had is so rare that boys and men are rarely educated on menstruation. The lack of knowledge combined with silence around menstruation makes it all a messy meal that serves a hot, piping SHAME!

3). Media representation & Social conversations

Periods are rarely if not openly discussed in media or public platforms. When the topic comes up, it is often in the context of “hygiene” or “cleanliness” which reinforces the idea that periods are something dirty, something icky, something GROSS. Advertisement for periods or menstruation usually focuses on discretion and silence. It should all be hush hush and this feeds into the idea that they should be hidden. YUCK! I dare you to talk about menstruation in public areas with your gal pals and see the nasty looks and nasty reprimands you receive from society. Public conversations about menstruation are rare, further contributing to the stigma.

“500 million women around the world don’t have menstrual products or facilities for menstrual hygiene,” The World Bank. 

4).  Gender Inequality and Patriarchy

Is it really a Weird Brown Girl blog post if it doesn’t bring up the patriarchy? Gosh, I’m sure if you guys read a blog post without my mentioning the patriarchy you would think I have been abducted or cloned or possessed or my skin is being worn like a costume by a skin-walker. Whatever you prefer, but it really WON’T be me.

Zimbabwe, like many other societies, still struggles with deeply rooted patriarchal values. (DUH!) Women’s reproductive health, including menstruation, is often viewed through a lens of control and secrecy. The societal expectation that women should hide their periods is linked to broader issues of gender inequality (see, the patriarchy is doing that thing again where its being harmful.) Menstruation is seen as a “women’s issue,” and in a society where women’s concerns are often sidelined, periods become a taboo subject.

5).  Period Poverty
Period poverty is a major issue in Zimbabwe, particularly in rural areas. Many girls and women cannot afford sanitary products, leading them to use unsafe alternatives such as rags, leaves, or newspaper. This not only poses health risks but also increases feelings of shame and embarrassment. Lack of access to proper menstrual products and facilities in schools causes many girls to miss school during their periods, perpetuating the stigma around menstruation as something that disrupts life and should be hidden. Period is not normalised. We all treat it like a grave abnormality that shouldn’t be when it’s actually completely normal.

Ummmmm…

Trust me, I don’t like my period as much as the next girl or woman. It can sometimes be painful and uncomfortable but guess what? It’s there and here to stay until I’m like what, 50 or something? I refuse to let myself get bullied into concealing a natural biological process like it’s some sort of taboo or crime. Blood seeps out of my cooter once a month and everyone just has to deal with it. I don’t want another little girl being afraid of speaking up after she gets her first period at school. I don’t want to fear being ridiculed or gossiped about when I stain my clothes. I just don’t want shame to be attached to something I and many other girls and women can’t control.

The stigmatisation of menstruation is honestly just one of the tools that society uses to subjugate and control women. Why? Well, get this; if we spend our time thinking a natural occurrence is and makes us disgusting and filthy then how will we be empowered? How will we have full bodily autonomy when we ignore or choose to shut up about what our bodies do? How will we ever find solutions to mitigate some of the health or social problems caused by menstruation if we never talk about it?

I don’t get it when society only prioritises menstruation when it wants women to produce more children to induct into its patriarchal cesspit. If we aren’t bleeding, society hates it because that means we might not be able to bear children and society despises that and women who don’t bleed (for they can’t do what society thinks women are only good for and that’s to bear children) But it’s only in the context of when it benefits society or…well…men. Surprise, surprise.

We need a serious revamp about how we talk about periods and by that I mean we should talk about them more! We should aid in missions to end period poverty by donating sanitary pads or cups and maybe even more. We should petition that schools normalise thorough lessons on menstruation even if it makes people squirm. Periods are normal and we should treat them the way they ought to be treated—without shame…you know, like a man’s unshaved armpit hair.

After all it’s just blood, so relax bro.

• The “Weird” Brown Girl.

SOURCES:

https://medlineplus.gov/menstruation.html#:~:text=Menstruation%2C%20or%20period%2C%20is%20normal,or%20womb%2C%20sheds%20its%20lining.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-47254222

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/why-do-we-still-find-it-so-hard-to-talk-about-periods-1.4097070

https://thepollinationproject.org/education-and-supplies-for-menstrual-hygiene-and-management-in-zimbabwe/#:~:text=Period%20Poverty%20in%20Zimbabwe&text=Furthermore%2C%20Girls%20in%20Control%20%E2%80%93%20Compiled,wool%20or%20pieces%20of%20cloth.