YES, I’M A FEMINIST AND NO I DON’T HATE MEN.
So, you probably don’t get feminism.
It’s okay, I didn’t get it either.
No Zimbos, it’s not about hating men…it’s more than that.
Way more.
The Oxford dictionary defines feminism as the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of all the sexes. The Britannica states that feminism is the belief in social, economic and political equality of the sexes.
Feminism largely originated in the West but the feminist thought has global manifestations and variations depending on what kind of war there is on women in that particular nation and unfortunately there’s always a war on women somewhere. So, no Zimbabweans, feminism is not an “American thing” or a “White people thing” or any other race thing. Feminism should be an everyone thing because an attack on women’s rights is an attack on human rights. A lack of women’s rights is a lack of human rights.
When I didn’t understand feminism and I was just a misandrist.
I was 15 years old when I started out in the nuanced and extremely complex world of feminism well, in my world of what I thought feminism was at the time. I was angry at men and had a superiority complex towards anyone who didn’t agree with me. One can only imagine how difficult it must have been for me to broaden my horizons on feminism and learn about it with my attitude. All I knew was that men were bad and women were oppressed. I know, I know…I was very shallow to say the least.
My superiority complex often propelled me to demean and harass people with different opinions from me. I remember being in history class when my teacher regaled us on tales of gender roles, I found myself cringing when she spoke about women being housewives. She highlighted on how fulfilled women felt by being nurturers and homemakers. Whilst everyone agreed with what she was saying, I on the other hand, felt like barfing. I recall being absolutely horrified that a woman of her calibre could have such an archaic view of what womanhood entailed. My desk mate decided to sigh longingly at the thought of being a housewife. I proceeded to ask her what her idea of a perfect life was and she told me what I believed to be my worst nightmare at the time. She claimed that she dreamed of a strong man coming home to her to enjoy a meal she had prepared. She told me she wanted to tend to his troubles and massage his feet too. I felt the respect I had for my desk mate leaving my body that day. MASSAGE HIS FEET, REALLY GIRL?! I wanted to yell at her.
I didn’t vocalise my disdain for her views but it was pretty blatant in my tone when I told her that she was mentally enslaved and brainwashed by the patriarchy. I asked her if she had any ambitions besides “massaging a man’s feet” and unsurprisingly enough she didn’t. Her goal in life was marriage and she was hell-bent on achieving it. I could have died right there and then. MARRIAGE ONLY, REALLY GIRL?! I wanted to yell at her. I reigned in my word vomit and decided to put an end to a conversation that was driving me nuts. I decided that my desk mate was not worth my time. I know, I know…I was a little monster.
My idea of feminism inflated my ego drastically. I was at a point of no return. I would casually scream that “men are trash” or “men are the worst” “males are the bane of my existence”. What I failed to realise was that I was hurting other people. I had uncles and even my little brother and my hate campaigns towards men were making them uncomfortable. I didn’t understand that what I was preaching and practising was misandry and not feminism. I was sexist not feminist. I was listening to many blue-haired women on the internet who had so much disdain for men that I also began to see men as villains. I mean all the wars, the sexual assault, the physical assault and belittlement of women was all perpetuated by men and created by men so I only saw it fit to disparage the perpetrators.
My misinformed and arrogant mind carried on belittling both men and women who didn’t support my views until we had a GIRLS IN S.T.E.M expo at school, The event invited women involved in STEM spaces to come and tell us more about their industries. That expo left me schooled, educated and possibly even reborn. I remember approaching a stunning woman who was typing furiously away at her phone. She was an engineer and a female (duh), which wasn’t and still isn’t very common in Zimbabwe. I was awed and fascinated by her, she was beautiful AND career driven? I was honoured to be even breathing the same air as she was. I approached her hesitantly at first. I introduced myself albeit shyly but I was very confident and abrupt when I asked her if she was a feminist. She smiled and nodded. I was over the moon until I saw her adjusting her wedding band. DUN DUN DUN DAAAH! I asked her how she could possibly be a feminist if she was involved in that forbidden “m” word? How could she be a feminist when she was that word that should never be mentioned? Was this betrayal? Was this heartbreak? A kickass engineer was MARRIED? HOW DARE SHE?! I know it all sounds melodramatic but those were the thoughts buzzing in my head at the time.
She saw me staring daggers at her wedding band and laughed. She patted the empty seat next to her so I sat down (I still felt betrayed by the way) and she began to tell me that I wasn’t a feminist because I was disparaging women and men. I didn’t understand what the heck she was saying until she told me that feminism did not seek to judge women who did not stray from traditional feminine roles in society. She taught me that feminism was all about advocating to accord women the freedom of choice be it socially, economically and politically. The conversation I had with her would change how I saw feminism and give me the opportunity to self-reflect. It’s safe to say that she became my hero.
After I had had time to self-reflect and educate myself by reading more books on feminism and watching YouTube videos about feminism, I realised what a jerk I had been. Gosh…I had been such a jerk!
Misconceptions of feminism in Zimbabwe and in the rest of the world.
After my phase of blatant misandry, I began to see feminism in a new and dare I say proper light. I saw that I was one of many Zimbabweans or Africans or just people who had no idea what feminism actually and truly was. It was more complex and more nuanced than I or we could ever hope to imagine. Men and boys in my country often saw feminism as a declaration of war against their manhood (sigh), so it was no surprise they made jokes and memes that completely vilified feminism and made it a joke. Look, I can take a joke as much as the next person but some of those “jokes” were jabs at women’s rights and a clear indication that people lacked basic knowledge of feminism. The jokes involved hinting that women who claimed to be feminists should split the bill (sorry, what?). WHAT DO WOMEN’S RIGHTS HAVE TO DO WITH A BILL ON A DATE?
Some jokes were about forcing women to participate in wars since they “wanted to be men”. Again, I’m sorry but what? Feminism has nothing to do with women desiring to be men! It has everything to do with according women the privilege of choice be it venturing into politics, architecture or whatever they desire! The privilege of choice was always exclusive to men especially in the past but women rarely tasted choice. REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN WOMEN COULDN’T VOTE in many parts of the world? Exactly. Feminism means choice so it aims to support women who want to marry and if some don’t then that’s okay too!
Then some women who identify as feminists in Zimbabwe deem feminism as a hatred campaign towards men. You’ll find feminist identifying women on twitter screaming that men are trash. Their statements disparaging men and sometimes even women who don’t agree with them shows me how warped or misconstrued their idea of “feminism” is. I put feminism in quotes because what they practise under the guise of the feminism umbrella isn’t feminism but misandry. They are basically the fifteen-year-old man-hating version of me. Feminism is not about hating men my dudes; it simply seeks for the equality of genders. However, men are usually the chief opposition towards the feminism initiative which seeks to demolish the oppressive systems said men created so the men think women who identify as feminists hate them.
A common misconception is that feminism is about taking away men’s rights and forming the matriarchy. Feminism has absolutely nothing to do with taking away men’s rights, rather it’s about balancing the power dynamics between genders. Feminism has everything to do with giving power to a gender that has been deemed inferior for centuries. According women their human rights does not equate to taking away rights from men. So, relax Tinotenda.
There’s another misconception that all feminists are the same. Umm, we aren’t. There are many schools of feminism, the most commonly known ones are that of liberal feminism and radical feminism. Personal experiences are what shape differences in feminism. Some will choose to identify as one or the other and sometimes even both depending on their experiences and preferences as well.
Then there’s the general public that think feminists are angry all the time. We’re not always angry but we have the right to be angry. Wouldn’t you be angry if a man was picked for a job over you despite you being more qualified? Wouldn’t you be angry if a man gets a higher salary than you even though you both have the same skills, qualifications and levels of competency? Wouldn’t you be hurt and angry if you’re sexually assaulted and policemen ask you what you were wearing and why you were “teasing the men?” Did that make you uncomfortable? Good. All I’m saying is that feminists are bound to be angry when they are fighting for basic rights whilst the odds are literally stacked against them.
Anyone can be a feminist, whether male or female. Your gender has nothing to do with choosing whether to be a feminist or not. Rather, it is your belief. If you believe in championing the equality of the sexes, then you are a feminist. Zimbabweans tend to think feminism vilifies gender roles. It doesn’t. It only aims to support women who decide to stray from gender roles. Zimbabweans also assume that feminism is about women competing with men in terms of physical prowess. Come on gents don’t be so self-centred. We are fully aware of the physical differences between males and females but that doesn’t make or mean that women are weak.
A misconception of feminism that I absolutely loathe is that “feminism is a Western concept”. Feminism isn’t only exclusive to the West because women everywhere in the world are fighting for their human rights and even their lives! There has always been a war on women everywhere. As we speak, the war raging in Ukraine has revealed that women are disproportionately impacted as there are gender gaps in food, finances and let’s not forget the gender based violence. Women in Afghanistan have been banned from attending public places like gyms and recently, they’ve been suspended from attending University. The women in Iran are fighting due to the Hijab laws and police brutality. Women in South-Africa are literally being beaten to death. Then there’s the sex for grades issue that sees Ghanaian and Nigerian women being sexually exploited by their professors. In Zimbabwe’s economy we have a high rise in carpet interviews that usually involve men in high positions sexually exploiting women in exchange for employment or jobs. It’s clear that women in Zimbabwe lack bodily autonomy which is a gross violation of their rights. Remember that poor girl Memory Machaya who was forced into a marriage and died whilst giving birth? She was ONLY 14! According to the U.N one in three girls in Zimbabwe are likely to be married before turning 18. When feminist movements are born to combat such atrocities is it bad? Are these feminist movements useless? Me thinks not! So, no Zimbabweans feminists aren’t people who are “yelling”, “screaming” or “making noise” about nothing.
Combating the “feminism is evil mindset Zimbabwe“.
The answer to combating the strange misconceptions of feminism in Zimbabwe is simple. Educate, educate, educate. Vocalise, vocalise, vocalise. That’s the only way feminism can be taken seriously in a nation that treats it like some demonic joke that threatens the role of the male in society. Show people videos, documentaries and tales that aim to clear the air about feminism being an evil movement hellbent on destroying the “natural order of things”. Can it really be the “natural order of things” if another gender is subordinated, belittled and abused? Me thinks not.
In order to educate people about the true nature of feminism, we need to educate ourselves first. We need to broaden our minds on the topic of feminism by watching Ted-talks, listening to podcasts (like mine hehehe), having healthy debates and reading feminist pieces (LIKE THE ONE YOU’RE READING NOW MWAHAHAHAHA!!!). Remember, it doesn’t matter if you can’t get through to as many Zimbabweans or people as you would like. Even if you change one person or five people’s views on feminism for the better that’s truly a beautiful thing. You never know the kind of positive chain reaction you can start!
According to the economist, societies that treat women badly are poorer and less stable. A study carried out by the Centre for Economic Policy Research and the World Economic Forum shows that countries led by women handled the pandemic better such as Germany’s Angela Merkel, New Zealand’s Jacinda Arden, Denmark’s Mette Frederiksen and Taiwan’s Tsai Ing-wen. Women’s rights also ensure the betterment of everybody. Because feminism fought for females to attend school, in the early 2000’s women in Afghanistan enrolled in schools. The Afghan infant’s mortality rate fell dramatically because women were educated. The United States Global Hunger and Food Security Initiative carried out a study that discovered that women make up half the agricultural workforce in developing countries and when they have equal access to land, they could produce up to 20-30 % more food which could feed about 150 million people! How amazing is that?! Yet, women are prevented from owning land and being in agricultural leadership positions in some countries which hinders progress for everyone. Do you now see how important feminism is? It’s important to advocate for women to fill up political, economical and social sectors or spaces for everyone’s benefit.
I know my method of combating the vilification of feminism in Zimbabwe and even the rest of the world is difficult because people are so set in their ways and beliefs. Fortunately, educating people is not impossible. Granted it’s difficult but it’s not impossible. I mean it worked on me which is saying a lot so exercise patience and caution when approaching people with the topic of feminism. Trust me human, you’re going to need it!
So, are you a feminist now? I certainly hope so. If not TRY AGAIN!! (Kidding, kidding…or am I? *Insert deep creepy serial killer baritone here*). My mum once told me something interesting when I was learning more about feminism. She said, “Every woman is a feminist in some way, shape or form because a woman is always fighting for something. They can be fighting for recognition at work or for people to respect their choices within the family, fighting to go to school, fighting for bodily autonomy and even fighting to live.” Yeah, I know, my mum can be quite profound if she isn’t threatening to whoop my ass with uphini (a wooden spoon used to make a type of food called sadza, isitshwala or pap and sometimes an African parent’s weapon of mass destruction).
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