When that alarm goes off, you peel your eyes open slowly. You can feel the exhaustion in your body. Your mind and body are in a constant state of war. Your mind wants you to rise and carpe diem the heck out and your body screams just five more minutes of that sweet, elusive sleep. Your mind though, that lively frenemy of yours is screaming at you about the millions of tasks scheduled in your planner.  There’s no time to feel exhausted because there’s an achievement you have to add to your accolades that aren’t enough. It’s time to get up and run the race to achieve excellence because as a black person why is that you only have a bachelor’s degree and not a doctorate yet? Better yet, why don’t you have a gold Olympic medal? Yikes.

Black excellence or blackcellence as I like to coin it as is defined by dictionary.com as a high level of achievement, success, or ability demonstrated by an individual Black person or by Black people in general. It sounds harmless right? Well, no it’s not. Black excellence is not an option because if you’re black you have to be excellent. There’s no two ways about it. I’m not one to dispute the fact that being exceptional in any field is admirable because it is. However, the standard of excellence for a black person is alarming and it is connected to white supremacy.

Black excellence is when Strive Masiyiwa became a billionaire in an otherwise hunger-games-esque economy.

Black excellence is Mandela’s legacy that came about from fighting apartheid. He is a global icon of peace, justice, and human rights.

Black excellence is when Miriam Makeba used her beautiful voice to speak out against colonialism and apartheid.

Black excellence is Simone Biles’ unmatched accomplishments in the world of gymnastics. I mean hello, 7 Olympic medals?

Do you fall in any of the categories above? Are you a decorated social justice advocate? Are you a billionaire? Are you a corporate “baddie”? Are you a revolutionary artist? Are you a valedictorian? If the answer to all of these questions is no then I have some bad news, you’re a regular black person so society says that you suck. How dare you be a regular, unambitious black person?

Black excellence in Africa

I don’t like to make distinctions of black people but it is suffice to say that experiences differ depending on where you’re from or where you grew up. Whilst the negative impacts of black excellence are different depending on where you come from, the point is that the pressure of blackcellence affects every black person.

The struggle to attain blackcellence started when you were a child. I’m sure Mama and Baba wanted you to come first in class. Then again, what parent wouldn’t want their child to be valedictorian? Here’s the difference though, you were never expected to fail. Failure was and never is an option. Zimbabwe’s economy has contributed to the pressure of achieving blackcellence. It’s simple really, the Zimbabwean economy isn’t exactly a utopia and many parents or guardians are making countless sacrifices to make sure their children get a good education. With this in mind, one already has no choice but to dominate their academics or sport and everything else their parents have invested in. Black excellence in the Zimbabwean household entails being academically exceptional and if you’re in sports that means you have to be the best there to. 

High-school was worse, tackling the workload was akin to climbing Mount Everest. However, you always had to be the best. As a person, my self-worth became rooted in academic prowess. I sought out academic validation because it made me feel exceptional. I felt and still feel that my self-worth is deeply rooted in being the best everywhere I go and in everything that I do all the time. It’s giving toxic.

Browsing through Instagram is not for the weak at heart. At first, you’re taken by the stark familiarity of the glitz and the glam that seems to be the norm on every Instagram page and you think twice about posting that cute and overly silly picture you took with Gogo (granny) last Christmas.

A black woman’s Instagram page is much like a portfolio of her version of blackcellence.  A black woman’s page should be nothing short of perfection. All the edges on your head must be perfectly laid, cute nails must be on display and a cute two piece must be draped across your body.  I bet you’re like Nonkosi what’s all this got to do with black excellence? Well, a black woman is always under scrutiny. Everything about her must be perfect. Let’s face it, when Olivia Pope’s father said we have to work twice as hard to attain half of what they have was true (I’m sure you know who “they” are). It also applies to black women and beauty. You have to be a stunning bombshell like Lori Harvey, Halle Berry or Coco Jones otherwise you aren’t recognised. The measurement for beauty applied to other women is different to the average black woman. It’s hard to be the average black girl. Your beauty should be otherworldly and if you aren’t otherworldly beautiful you should strive for it. That right there is an unattainable standard birthed by blackcellence!

 It’s evident that bodycon dresses and bust downs are for the win in the world of a black woman.  Have you ever just wanted to take a picture of your coffee and nails and just post it without worrying about how basic the picture looks? Here’s the thing, you can’t because that’s not associated with blackcellence. I’m sure you’ve sat back and asked yourself how society will perceive you if you post that one picture you took after you bought a one piecer at Chicken Inn. Some companions here and there have probably told you, and fervently I might add that it might be an affront to your black image if you post yourself shoving down chicken and chips from Chicken Inn because it’s too common. Because darling, you’re only to post pictures of yourself eating at exclusive restaurants that you can scarcely afford in your student budget. The average Zimbabwean can’t afford to eat out at Organniks or Shangri La every time their palette demands them to do so. The plight of blackcellence isn’t only demanded by social media. I’m afraid it’s inescapable if you’re a black woman. The plight of blackcellence follows you in your academics and your entire career.

You have to be extremely gorgeous, incredibily smart, highly-opinionated (but not so much that you offend men). You also have to speak good English and have light skin to be digestible to Caucasians and other non-black people in your work-place. It’s a very ughhh inducing position am I right?

Fear not, there’s hope yet. Have you ever tried being you know….a regularperson? GAAAASP….I know, I know as a black person I said the forbidden r word and I should be burned at the stake. Have you tried resting in mediocrity? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for black people breaking barriers and being amazing in everything they do. I just think that we always have something to prove to the rest of the world, ourselves, our families, our societies because of this negative perception the world has perpetuated of us and that we have internalised. As a result, we overcompensate by chasing after a never-ending concept of brilliance and success other people and dare I say, races are not subjected to.

Have you noticed that a white woman could have frizzy hair or a messy bun and be called cute, charming and endearing? If romcoms have taught us anything, it’s that the messy, “adorkable” white girl is always a catch. I dare you take a peek at comments under black women’s posts with a bun or any other hairstyle and God forbid if she doesn’t have perfectly laid edges or has a wig that looks well, like a WIG! (Because tell me why you get grossed out when you can see someone’s wig lace? It’s a wig so of course you’ll see the lace!).

A black woman’s station in life is to be brilliant, ambitious and tenacious. However, that tenacity shouldn’t make non-black people uncomfortable. It should be comfortable and digestible beyond measure. You aren’t allowed to be flawed. You aren’t allowed to be a work in progress. You aren’t allowed to strive for an average life. Well guess what? Black people are humans too. They are flawed and beautifully nuanced. In as much as they–or we, come in different shades, we also come with different dreams, personalities and ambitions. Some black women just want to take simple pictures at Chicken Inn and Eat & lick without being judged. Some black women just want to wear sweaters and leggings and have their 4c hair bouncing freely in the state it chooses on the day, because let’s face it our fros have a mind of their own. Some black women just want to eat, drink, go to work, sleep, watch a soapie or two and eventually die.

The black woman hustle culture has shed a lot of light on the pressure black women have in the employee word. You have to be a “boss babe” and a “winner”. You have to work twice as harder just to gain some semblance of recognition.

Blackcellence was toxic for me and still is in some situations. The desire to win and triumph is always on the brain. Whilst there’s nothing wrong with any of that, I realised I crash and burn when I lose or fail at something. I crash and burn when I’m being criticised whether constructively or jerk-ily. I struggle to keep going after a season of failure because of my desire to strive for excellence…which has been happening a lot lately (university, cough cough).

The undeniable relationship between black excellence and white supremacy

Let’s face it, black excellence and white supremacy are both related. They work in tandem to uphold each other in many more ways than one. Black excellence is a standard of black success that mirrors that of what is deemed “white people’s success”. As a black person you’ll never be white thus achieving “white success” is impossible! Marrying these two together is bound to end badly. We’re basically setting ourselves up for failure.

Black excellence is measured by a black person’s proximity to what society deems as “whiteness”. How one talks, dresses, walks and carries themselves is indicative of their excellence. Is their English exceptional? Is it digestible to society?

I don’t mean to make this a gender thing but I’m of the firm belief that the plight of blackcellence mostly affects black women. Well, let’s do this, let’s separate race from gender. As a woman you are already expected to look like Beyonce, be as feminine and nurturing as Snow-White whilst being strong like Mulan or Pocahontas but not in a way that would emasculate a man. Women are already subjected to many demands and expectations—we have our nosy society to thank for that and maybe patriarchy (cough, cough, cough). Being a black woman means you are subjected to the collective struggles of your gender ANNNND your race. Being a black woman is a double-edged sword because you have to impress EVERYONE.

Digging a little deeper helps us get to the root of the problem. Because black people are observed in a very negative light thanks to centuries of racial narratives and doctrines enforced by White supremacists, they now need to work twice as harder than everyone else to prove that they are decent human beings capable of conversation and intelligent engagement. My issue with black excellence is that it humanises black people.

Take a look at the black athlete problem. Every nation places insurmountable pressure on black athletes to be their very best. They have to be the best runners. They have to be the best kicker. They have to be the best thrower. Black athletes aren’t allowed to have bad game days. The onslaught of racial slurs that follow the black athlete’s failure is terrifying. A black person’s worth is determined by their performance. It’s as though they are putting on a circus act and the world is the audience waiting to rip them to shreds if they don’t put on a pleasing performance. Black athletes aren’t seen as human beings unless they put on an exceptional performance on the field or on the track. If you so much as get a penalty or come in third place prepare to be called a monkey. Remember how much hatred Bukayo Saka, Marcus Rashford and Jordan Sanchoall received when they missed penalties? They were subjected to racial slurs and inhumane treatment because they missed a penalty. When they score, it’s all rainbows and unicorns and when they don’t they are dehumanised! Black athletes have to earn their humanity by being excellent. It’s debilitating.

Which brings me to my next point: respectability politics. As a black person your humanity is only recognised if you’re brilliant in a field that you have chosen to master, if you’re a do-gooder and if you’re an overall charitable person. If you act in accordance with the traits I’ve just listed the world claims that you deserve to be treated with respect and decency. A bit regressive, me thinks.

Blackcellence in my own informed opinion stems from the desire to bridge a gap between destroying the lowly perception we have of ourselves as well as destroying supremacist racist ideologies forced on us for centuries. Typing that statement hurt my head. Despite the alarming proximity to white supremacy have you ever thought about how EXHAUSTING black excellence is? You have to maintain your looks, be the smartest in the room and have as many advanced degrees as possible.

Newsflash, the white society you’re trying to impress doesn’t care. As a black person, whether man or woman, no predominantly white space will ever deem you as an equal. That Master’s degree or Doctorate won’t uproot seeds of centuries of white supremacy. At the end of the day the question becomes: who are you doing it for? Who are you burning money and effort for? If it’s for your own personal gratification then make sure you’re happy. That’s important.

Blackcellence and why you can’t attain it

Black excellence becomes a detriment to mental health and well-being because of its insatiability. Black excellence is ever hungry. Black excellence always wants more and more until it bleeds you dry. You will never be good enough or amazing enough. It’s an unattainable standard because once you think you’ve attained it or reached its peak you need to climb yet another mountain. You will need to continue to prove that you’re excellent and that what made you exceptional the first time wasn’t a fluke. It’s a never-ending cycle, doom loop if you will. An exhausting loop that other races of people aren’t subjected to in any way. Here’s where my question comes in, why should you subject yourselves to impossible standards that other races of people don’t?

Let’s fight back

I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted.

The truth is, I don’t want my achievements and excellence to humanise me. I want to be respected and treated with decency because I’m a person. I don’t want my self-worth and confidence to be measured by my achievements and accolades. Do I still want to be a winner? Yes. Do I want to dominate every space I fill? Yes. Do I want to be exceptional? Yes. But I want to attain excellence in a healthy way. I want to attain excellence at my own pace and in my own way. I don’t want my identity to be determined by my accolades.

We need to free ourselves from the pressure that society places on us. Whether it’s pressure from other black people or the rest of the world because when you die from exhaustion none of these people will purchase that glass coffin from Snow White that you want so badly. Morbid jokes aside, it’s okay to be regular. It’s okay to be the everyday average black girl that leaves the house wearing crocs with undone edges.

We’ve shoved toxic standards to each other to the point that they are ingrained in us. Then we throw that toxicity around or pass it to each other thinking that we’re helping when all we’re doing is suffocating each other. Black people, take it from me, it’s okay to breathe. Your value is not in your accolades.

It’s okay to post silly pictures on Instagram because it was initially intended to be a virtual and interactive diary anyway as opposed to it being the model’s portfolio it is today. It’s your page so do whatever you want with it, whether it’s for silly pictures or stunning photoshoot posts.

It’s okay to express yourself. Self-expression doesn’t mean you’re violent or angry dear black woman because being silent doesn’t make you amiable and digestible, it just makes you a punching bag. Being opinionated means you have something to say and that is a human right. Don’t be afraid to talk because you think it’ll ruin your chances of blackcellence. You don’t have to make yourself digestible for people—they can choke if they can’t swallow what you dish out.

Do everything at your own pace and drown out the noise coming from the rest of the world.

Please remember that you’re a living, breathing person and not an emotionless robot manufactured to strive for perfection. Remember all of this before the desire to acquire excellence becomes your only redeemable personality trait because eww.

-The “Weird” Brown Girl.

sources:

https://www.dictionary.com/e/historical-current-events/black-excellence/

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/bukayo-saka-racism-euro-2020-england-b1915744.html